Lost Sheep is found and Returning to the Pastures

Remember that story about the the lost sheep I wrote a little while back? well lets continue the story shall we?

...So the little sheep cried and cried surrounded by darkness and loneliness and thought there was no way out of the forest. Suddenly, one day, a voice, a very familiar voice spoke to him. "Do not be afraid anymore little one, for I have come to save you". The voice was that of his Shepard. Soon, a very bright light appeared to surround the little sheep and led him slowly out of the dark cave in the forest. The sheep was hesitant at first about following the light but soon, the warmth of the light started to calm the sheep. The sheep has not felt such warmth in so long and was eager to follow where the light guided him. Soon, before the sheep knew how much time had past, he was already out of the dark woods and on a clear path back to the pastures. The sky was bright and clear. The air was warm and the sun never shined any brighter. The Shepard had led the little sheep back into the pastures, back into the flock of other little sheep who had also been once lost. Can I get a Amen?

You can probably tell that the little sheep was me and that the story was an allegory for my struggles this past month. 2 and a half weeks back during finals week, I was lost. I drank every day. I smoked everyday. Honestly God wasn't on my mind one bit. I turned away from him. I had abandoned him. And then that weekend when I got home, I had a little spat with my mom. That was my breaking point. I've been through a really hard time this past semester and that was my breaking point. I wanted to die. I contemplated suicide for a good 5-10 minutes. It was one of the lowest points of my life. But then, a couple days later, I received some very encouraging words from some friends. They told me to turn back to God and the Bible. 

Long story short, I did. My friends convinced me to go to the CCUC college camp and it might have been one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. The time from when I felt like dying to going to camp, it felt like months, when it has actually only been 2 weeks. When I finally got to camp, It was as if God had led me back into the pastures with all the other sheep that had also been hurt before. Honestly I had no expectations for camp. I didn't know what would happen during or after camp. But God's plans are always right. I learned more about his word. I met new brothers and sisters in Christ. I sang and prayed like I never did before.

All during camp, our guest speaker Pastor Robin Koshy preached to us many messages from the Bible and everyone of them, I felt was directed at me and my problems. He preached about Sarah and Unbelief. Rachel and Leah and Envy. Jacob and Self - Sufficiency. Jacob and Esau and Forgiveness.  And last but not least, Joseph and his Dysfunctional family. All of these things were factors that led to me being lost. But God's grace is far greater than the sums of all of my problems.

For far too long I have doubted God. For far too long I was envious of others. I turned to drinking and smoking, and I thought I could handle everything alone. I thought I was self sufficient and didn't need anyone else to help me deal with my problems. I held grudges and was unforgiving. And I always seemed to want to blame my problems on my dysfunctional family. I could have not been more lost. I wrestled with God's grace. He broke me and transformed me. And now I have received the rewards of His grace.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 And that was the take away from camp. God's Grace is what saves.